Trust Sandwich + "Benefit of the Doubt"

While it is virtually impossible to disregard the possibility of betrayal regardless of our relationship and closeness to others, we really do not have much space to go around when it comes to Trusting other people. We should not ask for our chosen friends to earn our Trust because being friends also mean that we should trust them. If someone wants to be friends with us, it is within our decision whether to Trust him/her and if we do not want to trust the individual, then we should decline their friendship. It would seem practical for us to ask for proofs of one's Trustworthiness, but in reality, whether we test them or not, there is always the same unknown percentage chance that would engulf the relationship. A person who cuts his right hand would seem pretty sincere, but in the end he could kill with his sinistra or left hand nonetheless (taken from Stratagems).

Of friends, Trust is given and not asked.

To avoid unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings, we should always look at the brighter side when it comes to the fault of our friends to avoid the corruption of a friendship. This is known as giving the benefit of the doubt. This practically means that we allow our friends to benefit from the situation that is still uncertain or with facts missing. If your wallet gets lost in your room with your friends sleeping over, there is a doubt that looms due to the uncertainty of the status of your wallet. Give your friends the benefit of the doubt by looking at the good side--meaning that you will presume that it is simply misplaced and not stolen. This is the same case with Justice where we presume that a suspect is innocent until provel guilty. I rest my case.

The Love Sandwich + "Choice"

Most people are familiar with the basic tenets of Love through the Bible. This, unfortunately, is not enough. What is being described there is the "ideal" sense of the word. Do not go around looking for Love as it is being portrayed in the Bible because this, being ideal, is unachievable by us humans.

Although this may be a little hard for romantics, I say that Love is not a feeling but a choice.

Love is commitment.

It is true that Love is a feeling, but that only holds true in the early stage of Loving. I think that Love as feeling is like turning the ignition key to an automobile. You need it to be motivated to be in a relationship, while Love as a choice is the gas which keeps the engine burning. It is better to hear "I do not want to live without you" than "I could not live without you" because not being able to live because of a person only proves that you stay in a relationship because you do not have much choice since you do not want to go through the pain of letting go (which also gives a hint of selfishness). This shows a very emotional and instinctive decision in which we really do not choose consciously. On the other hand, it is truly romantic that each and every single waking day of your life, where you have a choice to leave or stay in a relationship, choose the latter consciously especially when the time of crisis comes.

I am with my girlfriend because each and every single waking day of my life, knowing that I can take my life away any minute and retreat from this world but chooses otherwise, I choose to be with her given that I have the capacity to end the relationship as much as she does in an instant, but chooses to be with her instead.

I am recommitting myself to the Lord, my family, friends, and Jane, my dearest.

Pride Sandwich + "Everything on it"

The Pride sandwich, unlike the traditional hotdog sandwich, has more than just everything on it. Pride comes with greed, anger, self-love, stupidity, and the like. Pride kills. It does not just kill the "self" but it also kills the people around us. It is like cancer (from the Berean discussion earlier) because it is ever-present in humans and all we can do is to suppress its proliferation by thinking before we act. Pride kills... even relationships. If friend A does something wrong and friend B was offended, the fault will not automatically fall to friend A. If friend A apologizes and friend B does not accept the apology due to pride, then the downfall of the friendship is blamed to friend A; if friend A does not apologize due to pride, then the fault in upon him/her.

Before each downfall comes pride.

This was once said by our Literature 2 professor Dr. Gerardo Torres while discussing the fall of Icarus in the greek mythology "Icarus and Daedalus". Indeed it is so. We can prevent pride from taking over in terms of our relationships with other people by being optimistic and benevolent towards other people. If a friend accidentally spills out a secret, know the details first. Do not jump into conclusions and be humble enough to talk in a calm manner. We did not choose our friends to doubt but to trust and believe in them. Drop those whom you are just being hypocritical to. I have seen and felt pride in action and it spawns destruction.

I am a proud person so I hope by using myself as an example, people will not fall into the same trap that I have fallen in. I speak out of experience.

POLIANA conversion

Hey it's just now that I realized I had this account... Anyways, this is now going to be my POLIANA blog and I guess most of the things that will be posted here from this day on will be related to political analysis. That's all.

Absolute

We can say that there are absolute things and some may not agree with it. I see some things as mere manifestations of their "Absolutes". When we Love, I think we are only Loving in fragments. The only proof of this Absolute theory as of now is Time.

To be Cont.

My God. I was not able to resume this work. It has been a draft since May 22, 2005... Geez.

Anyway, I think I chose Time before because it can be universalized. Everywhere we go, a minute is a minute no matter how relative the length of that minute can differ from individuals to individuals. As Einstein said: "Put your hand on a hot stove for a 5 minutes and it will seem like an hour; sit beside a pretty girl for an hour and it will seem like 5 minutes." But still, 1 minute is still one minute.

Love, together with its variable manifestations have triggered a lot of debates and arguments all over the world. But everything comes back to the individual. We can not universalize love which makes it relative. Why? It is because we have created millions of notions of Love. Love in disciplining your children, love in getting hurt, love in giving and all.

Destiny = Inevitable?

This was taken from a bulletin board post in Friendster: Message: destiny is an event that will inevitably happen in the future.

Or is it not?"

First, people should be informed that everyone is condemned with the freedom to make choices as we are born. These choices are ALWAYS within our responsibilities. Once we neglect these responsibility, we show "bad faith".

Destiny is nothing.

In most religion, we are all born/created in such a way that we can decide for our own. I believe in this because it is true. Everything we do is always a manifestation of our capacities to make choices. As I type now, no one controls me or no one dictates what I am writing. This alone proves that we are capable of acting/choosing within our will.

If there is such a thing as destiny, then we all might as well stop thinking and let "destiny" do its work for us since we are destined to become something or someone that we did not choose.

If there's a wiil, there's a way.

Hypocrites...

You are a hypocrite... we all are.

This is one thing we can not deny. Though there may be levels of hypocrisy, in the end, we are all hypocrites.

Say for one, if I am black, cross-eyed, short, malnourished, limp, and without teeth, do you think anyone will approach me to ask for my name or sit beside me in class? No. There are a few who might. But they, in some cases will show their hypocrisy in other ways.

Why? It is because we really don't see ourselves the way we should. We are inclined towards one end, either to carry our own pedestals or put ourselves down. This paves way to confusions. We don't really see ourselves the way others do. We may be hypocritical, but it isn't all so bad since these things occur in the subconscious.

Just remember that "hypocrite" is a term that does not always denote the negative meaning.

My life and MOST about it.

My life is a big mystery to most people. Walking along the corridors alone most of the time can give you false assumptions on who I really am. I am usually asked: "Aren't you lonely being alone?" Sometimes, it really gets lonely but I can cope up with it. I really like to be alone sometimes. Not because I'm an introvert, but I really get to express myself too much to other people so there are times when I should balance things out and try to be alone. Another thing is that there is really no one who is like me to hang around with. Why? It is because of who I am. My physique intimidates others, my hobbies as well as interests usually contradicts others', my choice of friends are also is different, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't hangout in bars. When going to malls, I play in Timezone (Tekken), I play strategy games (DotA), I play basketball (Not good, though.), I sometimes want to chat in Starbucks and simply talk with my friends, I am a PC freak, I am regarded as someone who is an O.C. (Obsessive-Compulsive), I workout in the gym (Not too often), I drive my own car, I tend to be very competitive, I am an extrovert, I value my studies (Not too much), I value my philosophy, I love getting things my way.

Who expected me to be "kengkoy"? Who thought I like playing computer games? Who thought I am living my philosophy? Who thought I wanted to be a lawyer someday? Who thought I suck at basketball? Who thought I enjoy the simple things in life? (Sunset *YUCK* cheesy, isn't it?) Who thought I sing in the shower? Who thought I have a blog? Who thought I am online everyday? Who thought I am part of the Political Science Society's executive board? Who thought I enjoy simple conversations? Who thought I love hearing other people's problems and help them solve it? Who thought I don't eat vegetables? Who thought I don't smoke nor drink alcohol? Who thought I've been through relationships? Who would've predicted me?

Barely anyone.

In a group of friends, common interests are one of the most important factors. Who are those of my physique would rather stay in a LAN shop than a bar? Who would rather eat than smoke? Who would stay up late at night in front of the PC rather than binge on alcohol? Who would rather go to the gym than to watch a movie? Who would appreciate girls the way I do? (Hahaha!!!).

A nerd is a nerd and an alcoholic is an alcoholic. The problem is peer groups tend to incline towards one side too much and I am simply too flexible. You won't see a nerd palying basketball, you won't see a happy-go-lucky guy focus on philosophy, you won't see a bar person spending his Friday night playing basketball or PC, you won't see a health buff not eating vegetables, you won't see a person who doesn't care about his health go to the gym, you won't see a mesomorph listening to love songs, and you will never see another Dar.

I am almost everything you won't expect me to be and more!

So basically, you can't make me stay in one peer group (except the "7" DUH :P).

But I never said I am not open to other people. :)